Help for Moving Through the Discomfort of Change

When all of this is over, or at least as we start a return to some sense of “normalcy,” my hope is that we have If there’s anything 2020 is teaching us, it’s that we are adaptable. And that we can make big changes in our lives that, 6 months ago, we may have believed were impossible.

You might have also noticed that this process of change can be really uncomfortable! It has to be. Because growth and change don’t happen in the comfort zone. 

But there are three key factors that can help us move through this uncomfortable space with more grace and ease than we otherwise might.

First (and probably foremost) is self-compassion. We may think that self-criticism motivates us to be better or do more. But self-compassion expert Kristin Neff says this is not the case. Self-criticism instead creates anxiety rather than progress. And that self-kindness is a more successful motivator and brings along with it other benefits such as improved life-satisfaction, more calm and more confidence.

Change is disruptive by nature, and it can put our ego and nervous system into a panic and cause us to make unhealthy decisions. So another key skill in making change more gracefully is knowing methods of calming ourselves and bringing ourselves back to our center. Methods may include anything from breath work and meditation, to spending time in nature or doing yoga. What’s important is that you know, and practice, what works for you on a consistent basis. 

And lastly, we must have community and connection. This was something I struggled with for a long time, believing I was better off doing things on my own and that personal growth was a “private” affair. Turns out we really don’t thrive that way. We need connection, because we are all connected. We need support because we are part of something much bigger than ourselves. Some of us may need bigger communities, others may need smaller communities. But we all need to tap into our sense of belonging. And we also need to understand that we are essential to the communities we belong to. 

I’d love to hear what you think of these ideas. Is there one or more of these areas where you would like to improve? Or where you’d like more support?

These key factors are all a part of the work I do with clients and course members. If you’re curious about how I might be able to support you, let’s chat. You can schedule a complimentary call with me to talk about what you’re looking for in the next phase of your life, and we’ll discuss potential strategies to help you get there.

In the meantime, be kind to yourself, stay calm, and stay connected. We’ll all get through this and I’m hopeful that all the inner and outer work we’re being called to do this year is making us better humans.

Want to Know What Your Future Holds?

I read a great article by Benjamin Hardy the other day. The gist of it: Whatever you’re saying yes to today, determines your future self.

In other words, are you saying yes to binge-watching Netflix until late tonight? Or are you saying yes to getting to bed early so you can rest well and attune to your body’s natural healing rhythms? This choice impacts your future self. 

Are you saying yes to eating processed foods that ultimately make you feel like crap, or whole foods that make you feel grounded and nourished? This choice affects your future self. 

Are you orienting your mind and activities towards stress and worry, or taking steps to cultivate more calm and ease in your life? You get the idea.

As Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do.” So when we continue to say yes to habits and activities that don’t serve us, we know the consequences show up in our future. 

However, if we take the steps to create new and healthier habits, which includes making sure we get the support we need to make those changes, we know there’s a different future in store for us. A future that involves improvements in how we feel on all levels–physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. A future in which we experience more personal growth and development. And a future which gives us the health and energy to experience more of the life we want to live. 

What are you saying yes to today? What do you want to be saying yes to?