Making changes is not simply about will power or discipline. But instead a shift in your beliefs about who you think you are.
As author and “habit-change guru” James Clear says:
“Your current behaviors are simply a reflection of your current identity. What you do now is a reflection of the type of person that you believe that you are (either consciously or subconsciously). To change your behavior for good, you need to start believing new things about yourself.”
For some of us, the idea of changing our beliefs or identity can feel anywhere from a little edgy to totally terrifying. To some extent, this is normal. We have a function in the mind (the ego) whose job is to try and keep us the same—even if we are miserable. For the ego, old and familiar is better than change.
That’s why it’s so important, as a first step to creating real changes in your life, to learn how to work with the ego. Otherwise, we allow ourselves, and our lives, to be led by the smallness of the ego. We get stuck in its stories and beliefs and forget that we are SO much more than the ego.
As part of getting unstuck from these stories, we want to dream, and dream big. As James Clear indicates, “you need to start believing new things about yourself.”
So I want to invite you to dream up: What new things do you want to believe about yourself?
I’m giving you full permission to fantasize here. Any holding back you do in your dreams, means the ego is still involved. Free write about this and see what you come up with.
For pragmatists, this may be a difficult exercise that seems futile. ‘Why dream about something you can’t be?’
But I would argue that only when you allow yourself to dream, could you begin to see the possibilities of how to make it a reality.
What are you dreaming for yourself? What behaviors do you want to change? And what do you need to start believing about yourself to become more of who you are?
If you’re having a hard time connecting to your dreams–it’s not uncommon. We often get ver disconnected from our deeper desires, especially if we are caretakers of any sort. If you’d like to have a complimentary session with me to discover your desires, let’s chat.