What does it take to make lasting changes to your habits?

Making changes is not simply about will power or discipline. But instead a shift in your beliefs about who you think you are. 

As author and “habit-change guru” James Clear says:

“Your current behaviors are simply a reflection of your current identity. What you do now is a reflection of the type of person that you believe that you are (either consciously or subconsciously). To change your behavior for good, you need to start believing new things about yourself.”

For some of us, the idea of changing our beliefs or identity can feel anywhere from a little edgy to totally terrifying. To some extent, this is normal. We have a function in the mind (the ego) whose job is to try and keep us the same—even if we are miserable. For the ego, old and familiar is better than change. 

That’s why it’s so important, as a first step to creating real changes in your life, to learn how to work with the ego. Otherwise, we allow ourselves, and our lives, to be led by the smallness of the ego. We get stuck in its stories and beliefs and forget that we are SO much more than the ego. 

As part of getting unstuck from these stories, we want to dream, and dream big. As James Clear indicates, “you need to start believing new things about yourself.”

So I want to invite you to dream up: What new things do you want to believe about yourself?

I’m giving you full permission to fantasize here. Any holding back you do in your dreams, means the ego is still involved. Free write about this and see what you come up with.

For pragmatists, this may be a difficult exercise that seems futile. ‘Why dream about something you can’t be?’

But I would argue that only when you allow yourself to dream, could you begin to see the possibilities of how to make it a reality.

What are you dreaming for yourself? What behaviors do you want to change? And what do you need to start believing about yourself to become more of who you are?

If you’re having a hard time connecting to your dreams–it’s not uncommon. We often get ver disconnected from our deeper desires, especially if we are caretakers of any sort. If you’d like to have a complimentary session with me to discover your desires, let’s chat.

Want to Know What Your Future Holds?

I read a great article by Benjamin Hardy the other day. The gist of it: Whatever you’re saying yes to today, determines your future self.

In other words, are you saying yes to binge-watching Netflix until late tonight? Or are you saying yes to getting to bed early so you can rest well and attune to your body’s natural healing rhythms? This choice impacts your future self. 

Are you saying yes to eating processed foods that ultimately make you feel like crap, or whole foods that make you feel grounded and nourished? This choice affects your future self. 

Are you orienting your mind and activities towards stress and worry, or taking steps to cultivate more calm and ease in your life? You get the idea.

As Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do.” So when we continue to say yes to habits and activities that don’t serve us, we know the consequences show up in our future. 

However, if we take the steps to create new and healthier habits, which includes making sure we get the support we need to make those changes, we know there’s a different future in store for us. A future that involves improvements in how we feel on all levels–physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. A future in which we experience more personal growth and development. And a future which gives us the health and energy to experience more of the life we want to live. 

What are you saying yes to today? What do you want to be saying yes to?